


date night in the forbidden forest

by Quillium



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 18:15:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20247178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quillium/pseuds/Quillium
Summary: “When you said ‘date night’,” Ted says nervously, the tip of his wand glowing pale blue, “I was thinking studying in the library or maybe having a late night snack together. Not—not going into the Forbidden Forest.”“I mean, is it really forbidden?” Alexis asks, bobbing forward on her broom, “Or is it just, you know, a closed off area?”





	date night in the forbidden forest

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, checklist time. (Do we need to keep doing this? After this fic I'm going to just expect you guys to do your own checklist every time you open a fic, is that fair? Can I trust you?) Is it past your bedtime? If so, sleep for at least seven hours. Did you clean your room in the past week? If not, sweep the floor and wipe some of the dust. Have you moved in the past ten minutes? If not, take five minutes to stretch. You can't read this fic until the checklist is done, if all three points are good, you can move on.

“Okay, David,” Alexis flies down next to David, tapping her fingers against the edge of his textbook, “So, you know that cute boy in your house?”

“I’m not getting involved,” David says automatically, pushing away the handle of Alexis’ broom, “Shouldn’t you be practicing your flying now that you’ve made the team?”

“I will. With the team, when the _team_ practices. This is just flying for fun. Anyways. Focus? There’s this really cute boy in your year in your house that I think I should get to know.”

David squints at her, “And I think that’s not the greatest idea.”

“David! Why not?”

“Because, Alexis, I’m going to have to deal with him doing the loud wailing when I’m trying to get my beauty rest after you inevitably break up with him.”

“Okay, that is not—that is not true. Name one person I left sobbing.”

“The boy from third year?”

“That was my first relationship, he should have realized it wouldn’t last.”

“Okay, the guy from the library?”

“He got whiny.”

“Mutt from your house.”

“Um, David, we are still really good friends and get along super well.”

“He went to Durmstrang for a _year_ because he couldn’t be with you!”

“He just needed space.”

“He went to _another country_.”

“Okay, fine. So I’m not planning on a long term relationship. I’ll tell him that, straight up, that I’m not looking for anything serious.”

“And when he inevitably falls in love, that’s going to be _my_ problem.”

“Oh my _god_, David. You’re not even doing anything important right now.”

“I’m studying for potions.”

“Like I said, not important.”

“I cannot believe you.”

“Mm, well, I cannot believe you are standing in the way of my spring fling with—Travis?”

“Ted?”

“Yes! Mm, Ted. He’s so cute.”

“I’m not talking to you. This is ridiculous.”

“Okay, just, think about it?”

“Bye!”

__

So David won’t help her. Fine. Whatever. Alexis can woo… Ted… herself. He works at the nurse’s office, and getting in there is easy. All it takes is dislocating her shoulder, which she learned to work with back when she was kidnapped by some cult during her exchange year at Beauxbatons.

Ted, as expected, is in the infirmary reading some book about anatomy and medical stuff.

So Alexis just needs to ham it up a bit.

“Oh my _god_!” She shrieks as she rushes in, “My shoulder is in _so much pain_! I don’t think my arm is supposed to be hanging like this! Please—please tell me you can help!”

“Oh my god!” Ted says, which is always a fun way to start, “Do you—do you need me to get Madam Pomfrey?”

“Is it—is it that bad?” Alexis tries to look like she’s about to faint.

“I—uh—“ Ted holds up his wand and mutters a quick diagnostic spell, “Alright, don’t panic—“ he sounds like he’s panicking, which is kind of cute, Alexis likes guys who get flustered easily, “—it looks like you just dislocated your shoulder, which is easy to fix. We just need to pop it back into place and with the right potion you’ll be good as new.”

“Awesome,” Alexis places a hand against Ted’s face, “Sounds great.”

Ted reddens. Yeah, Alexis has got him in the bag. “It’s no problem, really,” Ted says, “You should—um—be more careful. Since you’re a Quidditch player and all.”

“Definitely,” Alexis leans closer and smiles, “Maybe you could help me learn about some more common injuries? Since you’re apprenticing with Madam Pomfrey and all.

“Yes, I could—“ Ted’s throat bobs, “I could definitely do that.”

“Perfect,” Alexis smiles.

__

“Could you get me my textbooks?” Alexis asks, hanging upside down on the Hufflepuff common room’s sofa, “It’s in my dorm.”

“You’re a Ravenclaw,” Ted says, “And I can’t go into the girl’s dorm since I’m a guy.”

“Oh, boo, you’re right,” Alexis closes her eyes, “Okay, what if you go into the Ravenclaw common room and then ask whatever girl is there to get my textbooks for me?”

“Alexis,” Ted cards his fingers through her hair, “How about I get my stuff and then we can go to the Ravenclaw area together and _you_ can get your stuff?”

“Okay, but can you, like, carry me? I’m so tired.”

“But you haven’t had Quidditch practice today?”

“Yeah, but, you see, the Ravenclaw dorms are, like, super far, and just imagining the walk is making me so tired and it would be really nice if you could give me a piggyback or something, babe.”

“I can’t give you a piggyback, I have to carry my textbooks.”

“What about a levitation spell?”

“Those are a bit advanced for me, Alexis, I’m not super confident in my ability to levitate you around the castle.”

“I could totally teach you.”

“Or you could walk.”

Alexis groans and flops onto Ted, “But _babe_.”

“Oh my god,” David steps out of his dorm room, “PDA much?”

Alexis sticks out her tongue, “We were just leaving, _David_. Ugh. Fine. I’ll walk.”

“Great,” Ted kisses her cheek, “Just let me get my textbooks first.”

__

“When you said ‘date night’,” Ted says nervously, the tip of his wand glowing pale blue, “I was thinking studying in the library or maybe having a late night snack together. Not—not going into the Forbidden Forest.”

“I mean, is it really forbidden?” Alexis asks, bobbing forward on her broom, “Or is it just, you know, a closed off area?”

“Those things mean the same thing, Alexis. This place is dangerous.”

“If it was dangerous, would they let us come in here during class time?”

“During class time, we have professors with us! Who can defend us! And make sure we aren’t injured or mauled to death!”

“Okay, look, Ted,” Alexis leans down and holds Ted’s face in her hands, “I’ll protect you, okay? So you don’t need to worry.”

“You say that, but I’m worried.”

“You like animals, right? Well, the Forbidden Forest is filled with tons of animals!”

“_Dangerous_ animals that we don’t know how to handle!”

“Look, babe, worst comes to worst we fly out on my broom.”

“No, worst comes to worst, we’re in a situation where we can’t move and are paralyzed and are eaten alive but unable to even scream!”

“Do you have anxiety? Because you can totally talk to David about that, he has these little pills that he has to take every morning—“

“_Alexis_.”

“Look,” Alexis cards her fingers through Ted’s hair, “I’ll just show you some butterflies and we’ll be on our way, okay? I’ve been here before dozens of times.”

“_Dozens of times_?”

“Yeah. So don’t worry.”

“Okay, you say that, but—“

Alexis cuts off Ted with a kiss, “Okay?”

“…Okay. What did you want to show me?”

“These. They’re totally cute and up your alley.”

The butterflies flap their wings, glowing faint pink and shifting to blue every so often. When Alexis and Ted reach them, they fly up, wingbeats silent as they race away.

Ted watches with his jaw gaping.

Alexis smiles and thinks she wants to make him look like that again. Awed and happy and completely wowed.

__

“I’m dying,” Alexis says into Ted’s bed, having spelled her way into his dorm room because what _else_ was she supposed to do when her period came and it felt like she was going to _die_.

“It’s okay,” Ted says, carding his fingers through her hair, sounding panicked, “Do you want to drink your hot chocolate? I can help prop you up if you need.”

When Alexis is done screaming into her pillow she nods.

“Okay, okay,” Ted props his hand under her head to bring her up and rests her head on his shoulder as he brings the cup to her lips, “Small sips, okay?”

Alexis takes two sips before she pushes at his wrist, “Can you spell me unconscious?”

“That’s dangerous and I’m not at that level yet.”

“Then get David to do it.”

“David’s my age, Alexis, I don’t think—“

“He knows how to do it,” Alexis says, and doesn’t expand because she’s in pain and talking takes up way too much energy.

“Okay, well, I just don’t think—“

Alexis screams into Ted’s pillow again.

“Okay. Okay. Are you okay if I leave you alone a bit?”

Alexis waves a hand.

After that, she remembers the sound of footsteps, Ted’s quiet voice as he cards his fingers through her hair, and _finally_, David’s voice muttering the sleep spell.

__

It’s their game against Hufflepuff and Alexis is excited, especially since it means she’s playing against Ted.

“A kiss for luck?”

“You do realize that you’re playing against me, right? So good luck for you would mean bad luck for me.”

“We can both have good luck. Then it will just come down to skill.”

“Well, I suppose if you kissing me will give _me_ good luck—“

“For sure, for sure.”

Ted hops onto his broom and kisses Alexis, “May the best team win.”

“Oh, we will.”

And they do.

__

Alexis realizes that she’s in love with Ted when she watches him help the house-elves with the night’s dinner. So she obviously goes to help. Because that’s how bad she is. She’s helping to _cook_ because she likes him that much.

“Oh?” Ted raises his eyebrows, grinning, “I thought you didn’t want to get your hands dirty.”

“Well,” Alexis huffs, “Just thought I’d help my boyfriend.”

“I see,” Ted kisses her cheek, “Thanks, Alexis.”

“Uh, whatever,” Alexis clears her throat, “You know, I learned how to cook in Dubai when we were visiting this dragon sanctuary or whatever a few years back, and we used this cute little stone oven or whatever—“

Ted nods and listens like Alexis is the most interesting person in the world (which, you know, she is, but it’s still nice) and she thinks it isn’t so bad, maybe, that she’s in love with a boy like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's your casual reminder to make and _use_ a bedtime routine that starts with getting off electronics at least an hour before going to sleep. After a long day, a routine is a good way to make sure what needs to get done will get done (that being said, I recommend light stuff like stretching or reading, nothing that makes you think too hard) and eventually your brain will start to associate your routine with sleepytime. (Also if someone wants to write a Hogwarts AU please do, we could always use more Schitt's Creek fic and Hogwarts AUs and what better than to combine the two?)


End file.
